A loan officer died and went up to St. Peter at the Pearly Gates to
present himself for admittance to Heaven.
Peter said, "You did a lot of good helping people get into homes and you
donated lot to charity and worked on that Habitat house. But you told
too many fibs to the underwriters and were unkind to your processor. We
aren't sure where you are going to fit. So we've decided to show you
around both Heaven and Hell and see where you feel more comfortable."
As they toured Heaven, the loan officer really liked the big mansions
and the streets paved with gold, but the Celene Deon singing got on his
nerves.
Then when they showed him around Hell, he noticed everyone had their
choice of playing golf or tennis, hanging out by the pool, smoking and
drinking, or dancing and playing cards in the clubhouse.
He told St. Peter, "Oh,this is going to be hard! Can I sleep on it?" So
he was allowed to think it over during the night.
The next morning they asked him for his decision. He quickly replied,
"Oh please send me to Hell!"
So they opened up the doors to Hell, but the whole picture had changed!
It was just like you have always heard with fire and brimstone! People
were burning and being tortured and screaming! Oh it was so hot and
horrible!!
"Hey, that's not what you showed me yesterday!!" the loan officer cried.
St. Peter's cold reply: "You should have locked yesterday!"
Like I said, I'm baaaaaccckkkkk!
